suraj mani- the singing sensei

"Who needs evidence!" - Mike Proctor & the kangaroo court

Yesterdays highlights:

• The white doves of international cricket have been sodomized."It hurts!" exclaim the pea-brained practitioners of mental disintegration.

• Indian, Sri Lankan, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, South African & West Indian cricket lovers all over the world expected to be racked with guilt???!!!

• The ICC and the ACT, shattered at the suffering that team Australia has undergone.

 

These are the few funnies that jump out at anyone watching whats happening in Australia right now. It’s a lot of fun really, though I must say that after the 2^nd day of this circus it is making us lose sight of our objective.

Allow me to launch into a naïve and maybe a slightly preachy proposal. In fact just smile it off as one of those things that would only appear in a rockers blog!

A rocker (and lets not limit that term to a musician in a band) is someone with an almost unconscious preference of wanting to live life as a warrior and not as a hero.(rock heroes for eg feel responsible  to overdose or blow their brains out! the warriors are still playing.)

Now what I’m doing here is ridiculing the tendency of a hero to go out looking for trouble as a goal in his life and praising the urgency with which a warrior deals with trouble and then gets back to life.

I think India and Australia should get off the heroics and simply eliminate what bothers us about the India Australia test debacle.

The Australian team and to an extent all their followers (Australian and some Indians as well!) are already a beaten lot. I know that the record says otherwise, but it is not a part of us that is bothered with the records that is prompting this outrage.

Indeed that part of us knows that they are down and we are still kicking them repeatedly because of how delicious it feels, instead of concentrating on checkmating the ACT and the ICC.

I for one will laugh if Ricky Ponting and his team ever call themselves “champions” in front of me again. But somehow, I doubt he knows me or whether he will stop scoring for his country because of that. Therefore that cannot help.

What will help would be to get Bucknor & Benson out of the way & Bhajji back in the team. If somebody asked India what we should do to eliminate our irritants before the next match, here’s a gist of what I propose (if anybody’s listening? Oh who cares. This really is the best thing about a blog, it makes home a more peaceful place when one has the solutions to the worlds problems and one's spouse may not really be interested in its implementation. ):

Scenario 1: Mike Proctor and others in the ICC want to continue with this silliness by hiding behind the rules. Let them issue the following official statement to the BCCI and the media stating,

“ The ICC is forced to persist with the two umpires in spite of their proven inefficiency. We apologize to team India and the game of cricket for the same.

We are also apologize for proposing to ban Harbhajan Singh for 4 matches without any solid evidence whatsoever.

We (names of the officials) are the persons who support the implementation & the wisdom of this decision. ”

Scenario 2: Alternatively if it is an ACT official that is forcing this decision, then let them issue an official statement to the BCCI and the media saying,

“We the ACT are insisting that the ICC should persist with the two umpires in spite of their proven inefficiency. We apologize to team India .... (you get the drift)

 A letter like this should be the minimum pre-condition for the BCCI and the Indian team to play further. If the ICC does not deign to comply, then let them throw out the player’s code of conduct and draft one for themselves before imposing it on others.

To draw a interesting parallel, a few centuries back there was another group called the EIC (the East India Company) who came with the white man’s burden to our country. What they did to India
with the Bible in their hands is what the ICC is trying to pull off with the Code of conduct in theirs.

But please note that we won our freedom because we chose not to “fight” every English man in the world and because we eliminated their desire to shame themselves further in the eyes of the world and their countrymen

It would be nice if we could find ways to eliminate Mr. Proctor and the ICC/ or alternately the ACT officials desire to shame themselves and everyone associated with the propagation of this injustice.

The players could then just play cricket. The BCCI, the media & you and I can play ball from there on, if needed!

Howzzat?. please excuse the excessive appealing, but then again Howzzaaaat?

Symmo-“that Bastard called me a monkey!”

I was fortunate enough to watch the following cricket match. Fortunate, because this has finally made me surrender to the sheer seduction and the power of expression that comes thru a blog. Everything cannot become a song, can it?

These are definitely some of the most memorable moments and thoughts that I shall carry with me as the highlights of the 2^nd test match of India vs Australia, Steve Bucknor, Mark Benson, Symmonds (x 4), Hussey(x2), Ponting (attempting an x2),Clark(attempting and failing an x2), etc etc.

• “Are you questioning my integrity????” – howler from Ricky Ponting. (code name – punter)

• Deeply wounded Symonds cries out for help to his captain and mates, “that Bastard  called me a monkey!”

• Ponting and team mates rally behind “sensitive symmo”.

• Mike Proctor, a top official in the ICC with quite a lot of power and a deep concern for the feelings of the players, keeps things safe for the gentler and more giving practitioners of the game.

• A grateful section of

  India

  acknowledges Australian teams’ role in getting 11 billion Indians to laugh together. We may never really recover our composure while watching a cricket match against this team again.

• Unconfirmed rumors that team

  Australia

  is now suffering from mental disintegration after many years of practice.

• My heart bleeds afresh for Muthiah Muralitharan. Now here is a poor sod, who has the talent to beat the Australian team, but not an entire Australian support system. By the way, their ethics were as flexible as his wrist when it came to their compassion for the diet methodology of a slightly fattish spinner.

• Michael Clark is clearly looked upon as a future leader of the Australian team. He certainly has the strength of character that the ACT seems to value so dearly.

• Steve Bucknor has a medical condition and a right index finger that generates Helium within 22 yards of a certain unfortunate gentleman called Sachin Tendulkar. The BCCI has finally decided to stop apologizing for the same! (Sachin may reconsider his retirement plans.)

• Ricky Ponting really, really delayed his declaration after seeing

  India

  bat the first innings. ( Even I didn’t know that he could count on the umpires to these new levels for the second innings as well!) Now I am not being racist here, but I say he was a little “chicken”.

Kumble and team

India

…. You played your best and my heart sings with your success! I would not ask you not to enjoy the process of reaching your goal and I am sure many Australians are wishing their team played as well.

After all like the wise man said, “you should move straight and true like an arrow towards your vision … all the time enjoying the flight”.

This has been a great test match indeed. I'm still laughing! Are you?