suraj mani- the singing sensei: Another goodbye.

I am not really sure why I am writing todays post. Its more of a private matter.And yet my heart aches to share.

My Uncle, fondly known as achachan (my mothers eldest brother) was laid to rest today in Marammon, Kerala and I was unable to be there.

He passed away kind of suddenly. Had a heart attack a couple of days back and only his grandson was there with him. Rubeil, my 20 something year old nephew, had to watch his grandad pass away in the car on the way to the hospital. Some things in life are never meant to be easy.

The funeral was decided suddenly as all his children who lived largely abroad made it within a day. I just wasn't able to be there and so I went to another uncle's (another brother of my mother) place yesterday. It was the recollection of this conversation that makes me want to write.

My Uncle was telling me how Achachan actually was unable to walk across the road and yet how he would drive all the way to Trivandrum(which could be some 250km away) if you could get him behind the wheel of his car!

I smiled at the memory of his famous drives. I mean he was 80 years old and he had been doing this for years. 15 years since he had a heart condition. In fact I just realized yesterday that his heart was working only 15% of its capacity.

He lived much beyond what his heart would have normally permitted an ailing old man to. Maybe because he never lived like an ailing old man.He just lived.

I remember how he was unable to make it for my wedding because he was suddenly exhausted due to his condition. Achu (my wife) and I went to maramon a few days later and visited him.

He went into his room and came out with a very special gift for me. It was a Gold plated Shaeffer pen that my mother had presented to him some 20 odd years back. In pristine condition.

I have that pen with me. It is kept with my most important papers and personal possessions. In fact I tend to write down the final draft of all my songs on special paper using that pen.In my neatest handwriting. Silly, but very satisfying. Its almost like a personal presentation of our songs to my mothers soul.

So much of our selves is part of our ancestors and our elders. And most of the parts we cherish of ourselves are often what we most cherished about them.

A simple conversation, a look, a behavioral pattern, a memory shared... all these are what makes us remember someone who has gone before us. And sometimes we are lucky enough to hold in our hands little gifts that anchor us to some of the most beautiful people in our lives.

There truly is more to a gift than its intrinsic value. Life proves that to us every now and then, when it snatches our blindness away.

It truly is wonderful to be alive. More than we ever acknowledge or believe so!

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Hey suraj,

words straight from my heart!...reading your 27th blog...my mom-in-law passed away 21st and the same thots have been going around in my head too...it was nice seeing it penned down so beautifully...!

Posted by: seema | March 01, 2008 at 09:08 PM